“A cop accidentally arrested a judge who was dressed as a convict for Halloween.  The cop learned to never book a judge by his cover.”

“He was arrested for throwing bombs off a boat, but they dropped the charges.”

“There was an eye doctor who wanted to re-locate but couldn’t find a job because he didn’t have enough contacts.”

“When you get a blood transfusion in Taiwan, you receive Taipei blood.”

“A ham walked out of the hospital and said ‘I’m cured’.”

“Bugs have very diverse religious views, because they are all in sects.”

“A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.”

“I beat the eggs and whip the cream, but the onion makes me cry.”

“I used to like Russian dolls until I realized they are full of themselves.”

“A boy told his parents he wanted to raise goats for a living, but he was only kidding.”

“When the iron was invented there was a press conference.”

“Working for the IRS is taxing.”

“I’m inclined to be laid back.”

“I almost got hit by a car but a cow got in the way — bovine intervention.”

“He had a soda while ironing.  It was soda pressing.”

“Sign on a rehab center lawn — Keep off the Grass.”

“I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.”

“Was going to look for my missing watch, but could never find the time.”

“Had a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.”

“Did a theatrical performance on puns.  It was really a play on words.”

“Not that he didn’t know how to juggle, he just didn’t have the balls to do it.”

“Did you hear about the two men from the monastery who opened a fast-food seafood restaurant?  One was the fish friar, the other was the chip monk.”

“And finally, there was a man who sent ten different puns to friends, in the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh.  Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.”

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