Deepwater.cc

adjective, adverb Music.
Smooth and connected; without breaks between the successive tones.

You are swept away in the legato bars, then brought back to earth by the jarring staccato portions.  Sometimes it feels like an endless da capo, but eventually we hit da capo al fine.

Music of the moment:
Herbert von Karajan w/ Berlin Philharmonic – Strauss II – Die Fledermaus – Overture

Disjointed thoughts.

Everything costs something.  Price does not equal value.

Alice: Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?
The Cat: That depends a good deal on where you want to get to.
Alice: I don’t much care where.
The Cat: Then it doesn’t much matter which way you go.
Alice: …so long as I get somewhere.
The Cat: Oh, you’re sure to do that, if only you walk long enough.

We float on
Set adrift
The waves crash
Yet everyday is a gift.

We use this word when referring to something unexplained, something we don’t fully know / understand.

I like it because it is very inconspicuous, but at the same time gives any phrase the power of a certain optimistic mystique; that one word gives a phrase an aura of anything being possible.  Of course, this can be construed to be negative, but then again pretty much any word can, if you know what I mean.

“I will survive, somehow.”

But anyone can survive.  How do you define survive?  Not being dead, ie. simply being alive?  Breathing, having a pulse, able to defend self from most domesticated animals?

“I will succeed, somehow.”

How do you define success?

I used to associate success solely with material wealth.  I am going to amend my definition to include some intangibles; chief of which is mastery over myself.  Most of the things I do I don’t really know why – I just do them because some people important to me think it’s a good thing to do.  But when I do end up with some quiet time, I find that I cannot fully reconcile my actions with my own self.  This is slightly ironic as I am alone most of the time, with other people rarely telling me what to do.  Although I appreciate the independence and trust given, I think I am still getting used to living my own life, for my own sake.

So what happens?  It’s like an examination in school, only ongoing everyday.  You take your materials (life experiences), enter the exam hall (anywhere you are), and do the exam (life puzzles).  Some questions we will score well in, some questions moderately well, and others we will get completely wrong.  But I mentioned score.  A human construct created to measure a degree of conformity.  The exam only assesses your ability to know the material, it doesn’t measure, nor can it, what you do with the material after.

Doing well in an exam can become a huge motivation.  So can doing miserably.  I think about how my thoughts are starting to lean in a pretty laissez-faire direction and the importance of understanding the underlying purpose and nature of things; I cannot help but have a little trepidation for the future.  I hope I have the stomach to deal with inquisitive kids, at the same time giving them the strength to realize themselves as people, and not be resigned to living a certain life out of a lack of choice.

For out of divine goodness we have our own free will; it would be rewarding if we are able to impart that concept and have people practice what they consider good, of their own free will.

Somehow.

They say our personalities are established when we are young, and reinforced as we grow older.

Although certain traits may increase and / or decrease in intensity over time, the major traits themselves largely remain similar, with few or no new traits gained or lost.

Don’t know if this is scientifically proven, but it sure seems that way.

Restructured my Chrome bookmarks – for some reason I kept limiting myself to one browser window before – thought it was more efficient.  Then quasi OCD-ness made me keep rearranging tabs so that tabs in similar categories were close together.  No more – they are now all their own folders, to be opened group-mode in separate windows.  My first 30 minutes doing this has been a revelation – so much smoother, especially when combined with Mac’s trackpad magic.

Note – Keep eyes open to new opportunities to improve, even in the unlikeliest of places

Took a page from my project – started tracking more items, but in personal life.  I believe all knowledge and experience should be documented, what more when gained alone.  It is the only way to pass it on to the future generation – document now, we can deal with how and when to pass it on later.  Google Docs are really powerful – I think I’ve only begun to scratch the surface of what can be done with it.  On that note, it seems like we (now) have alot more technology than we know what to do with.  The last time I remember being in control and using technology to the fullest was with my Nokia 6600 – 6 years ago?  Since then, things have evolved by leaps and bounds – losing my Android phone in 2010 also contributed – but I now have a better appreciation of what I truly need / use.

Note – There will always be extras – the trick is to be certain about criteria; about needs vs. wants

I will be making some interesting choices this year – they will be in the spirit of taking the road less taken.  Though I’ve been given lots of opportunities, the past 3 years have shown me that there are whole worlds out there yet to be explored.  The hope is to continue doing what’s meaningful to me – not simply earn a paycheck.  I realize this is a luxury, but only through doing meaningful work does one’s best emerge – this is something smart companies would do well to not ignore.  Again, a question of needs vs. wants.  Only time will tell.

Note – The only limits are those we put on ourselves.

What a year.  Crazy ups and downs for everyone.

Some people got attached / engaged – gained loved ones.

Some people lost family members / friends – lost loved ones.

I suppose this is what time does.  It gives you a chance, an opportunity, with each passing day, to come into your own.

Any change in our lives requires us to give up a part of ourselves.  Gaining someone requires us to share ourselves.  Losing someone takes a part of ourselves away.

Whether we willingly gave it up or it was forcefully taken away from us, whatever remains of ourselves has to be that much stronger to continue living.

We are a little fearful and nervous because with each passing day, we are reminded that things are changing; transitioning from being supported to supporting ourselves, and others.

Yet here we are.

The people I know reading this are a strong bunch.  We do not give in, we do not give up.  We do not know if we can make it through the year, but we will live as though we will.

We will gain strength, lose weakness.

We will gain wisdom, lose folly.

Most importantly, we will look to the future – what we can still change – and not forget, but learn from and appreciate the past.

Come into your own, and all the best for 2012.

Why do people do this?  Severe lack of respect.

What is so hard about being upfront about something that is going to be known anyway?

Why do some people think that they are the only ones who can control the flow of information?

No – information is like water, it will find a way.  Also like water, it is better to receive information in a known, expected way (eg. drink) instead of an unexpected way (eg. tsunami).

Have fun with your so-called “control”.  And of all the people.

….ay, shibal..

“Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.”

We are taught for most of our lives answers to pre-determined questions, as well as the means and methods to arrive at said answers.

I think increasingly important though nowadays is the ability to formulate / ask the right questions.

In this age of hyper-connectedness, answers are a few clicks away – it’s the questions, or more specifically, the right questions that remain elusive.

To ask the right questions, we need to have a good working knowledge of ourselves.  This remains a severely overlooked aspect in many societies – emphasis is given to external learning, not internal.

But it is only when the self is nurtured and indulged – often at the expense of others – that one is able to ask deeply insightful questions and therefore work towards finding deeply insightful answers.

What remains is to temper that insight with a profound desire to improve the world – any part of it, be it human life, plant life, or animal life.  It is when these elements meet and mesh that great changes seem to happen.

I’m trying to look for my definition of an ideal future state.  Climbing out of preset thought-boxes and trying to quiet my mind to the noise of orthodox convention.

I’m probably going to regret deliberately writing so ambiguously for the longest time.

When I think I can get away with just being myself, a sign presents itself telling me otherwise.

I don’t know what to do — I need a safe place to write.